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Thursday, December 16, 2010

NASCAR's Naughty And Nice From 2010

Well, Santa is making his list and as usual, there are some naughty little boys who will be getting coal this year.  Often in NASCAR there are all to many opportunities to be naughty, and every driver has been on that list at some point or another.  Who is on which list this year?  Well, I'm sure you have a few ideas of your own, but this is the list Old St. Nick faxed over to me this afternoon and these were the highlights.

Nice
  • Mark Martin- Loves To Share!  Due to Mark's on-track kindness, which is a staple in NASCAR, and his willingness to share his Crew Chief, Mark is on the Nice list this year.  Little Mark will receive a new Crew Chief and a new roommate this Christmas.
  • Kasey Kahne- Patient.  For his willingness to be a good boy and wait a year to drive the #5 Kasey will get a full year of free Red Bull to liven up his performance for 2011.
  • Jeff Gordon- Team Player.  He was so committed to bringing the Cup back to Hendrick this year that he selflessly gave up his pit crew to the #48.  He was willing to move his stuff out of the old 24/48 garage.  For all of that he will get to once again be the youngest driver in his garage and will get a great new Crew Chief.  Gustafson is receiving a 3D decal of the front bumper of the old #3 to put in Jeff's rear view mirror for some encouragement.
  • Carl Edwards- Puts Others Before Himself!  Some people are takers and some are givers.  Carl was so kind as to take damage to his own car just to give Brad Keselowski the ride of his life.  No wonder he is always smiling, he is such a giver.  For that, Carl will have his best season ever in 2011, of which I gave him a taste in the final races of 2010.

Naughty
  • Kyle Busch- Does Not Play Well With Others!  He was rough with his teammates, tore up a lot of cars, and flicked off everyone while doing it, all because Joe Gibbs would not buy him the cat featured on his Toyota in his commercial.  His name is almost written in permanent ink on this list.  For his antics he will be penalized with an extra 100 lbs of steal in each car next year, which he will probably be putting in the front bumper in preparation for his spot on this list next Christmas.
  • Jimmie Johnson- Will Not Share.  What a grinch!  Jimmie used to be such a good boy.  Yet again he is on this list for not sharing!  Not only will he not share the Sprint Cup trophy, but he also stole Hamlin's smile and now Happy Harvick is just Harvick.  I have no choice but to take all of Johnson's cars and for 2011 he and Knaus must use only shopping carts and used lawn mower engines.  Perhaps the others can catch up.
  • Dale Earnhardt Jr- Poor Manners!  For his sailor's tongue on his radio, peeling the paint off every home that listened to it, Jr will have his mouth washed out with soap before every race by his new Crew Chief Letarte.  And for making his cousin and millions cry in July when he raced in a "pants" car and raced the pants off everyone else, he will have to make millions happy with great performances in 2011.
Merry Christmas NASCAR Nation!  May 2011 be even wilder than 2010.

4 comments:

Gene Haddock said...

You know what they say... Nice guys finish last!

So, how come Jr is on the Naughty list? LOL

JD said...

Welll. Hopefully getting ready for next year. Lol

Anonymous said...

I hope they have plenty of soap handy. If Jr has his mouth washed out, there are 42 other drivers who deserve the same.

Dwindy1 said...

Good one JD...

Somehow, some way, somebody's got to build a fire in Jr.'s belly. He seems to respond to a challenge so someone's got to figure out how to keep laying challenges in front of him across a whole season and right on through the Chase... He's got to maintain his focus...

He could stir up everything if that happened!

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